Gifting: Good Grief
Gift giving is not my love language.
Oh no. On the contrary, I find gifting quite vulnerable. And not in a good way.
Miraculously, my first born son, Paul, is a natural gift giver. Two years ago, when Freddie was a new baby, Paul began receiving gifts to celebrate his big-brother-dom. He would, almost immediately, repurpose the wrapping and pack up his toys to gift to others. Once he wrapped up matchbox cars and demanded that we go next door and give them to our neighbor Anne Marie. I stood back on the walkway while he climbed up her porch and handed her 5 little cars in wadded up yellow and pink tissue.
He was beaming with joy and pride. She was nearly shaking with delight and disbelief as she bent down to get his 3-year-old explanation of what was happening. I am pretty confident that one of those cars is still on her mantle.
I often find gifting scary.
My gifts scarcely have this response… partially because my fear of gifting means I don’t give big or great gifts very often. Gifting feels like an opportunity to open myself up to the receiver’s mysterious calculous of value. And if you’ve been following along here for even 5 minutes, you know that a big part of my life is spent in pursuit of finding deep meaning in even the most banal things. As a result, some of my favorite items are extremely simple and small. What is magic to me, when gifted, can come across as inadequate or cheap.
That’s the fear anyway.
But you come to me for gifts.
Reflecting now, I realize that fear has been running wild. It led to me avoiding making a gift shop for the past several months. I pay attention when you come to me for art. And you’ve been coming to me for gifts to mark the most meaningful moments for a while now. A new baby arrives, a new house is purchased, a big wedding is on the horizon, a 60th birthday approaching… and I get a call to make a little something. And I am honored to be that resource. Art can be a continuous reminder of that thing you are marking. And even when giving small things, art has the capacity to carry sentiments that are stronger and longer lasting than the typical flowers and jewelry and trinkets we often default to. And I want my art to serve you. So it’s time to find a way forward.
A possible solution:
In the midst of cramming for Black Friday, I have built the beginnings of my gift shop. And in starting to work on it I realized that I DO have a couple of tools to use.
Years of operations experience tells me to tackle gifting with a system.
And my real love language: words of affirmation. Affirmations can be dished back out in sincere notes that accompany my gifts. Even if the present is small, my sentiment can be big and obvious.
The System:
I am attempting to build an arsenal of go-to gift ideas.
Let’s see, I need small and medium gifts for:
Hosts and hostesses this holiday (and all year really)
Birthday gifts for my siblings and parents who live across the country
In-laws and some extended family at Christmas and birthdays
Teachers, Christmas stockings, Easter baskets etc.
Pick-me-ups for my sweet friends when they are grieving
these days with my little kids I often don’t have the bandwidth to spend quality time with my friends when experience a rough patch. I want to have some easy things on hand for sending care in the mail.
And, as a starting place, I’ll lean on the activities that my receivers enjoy to design a few categories:
The Worker
The Hostess
The Artist (I mean I had to make this one)
The Chef
For a Little Meditation (my iteration of self care)
For a Little Comfort
For a Little Love
I’ve curated links, ideas and sentiments for you.
Of course my gift shop has art. But I needed more and I wanted to give you a little something more too. So here’s what you’ll find:
My “products” are broken out to meet the needs above. They include my best selling prints. But the gold is in the descriptions. Each product description includes:
links to the non-art presents that will pair perfectly with the art
a little about “why” I will be gifting these items - content you can use as the seed for your own notes and greeting cards
The ideas and sentiments are my little gift to you as start shopping for the holidays.
Note: silliness is still my favorite sentiment.
Do write a note.
I’ll be sending along free extra greeting cards when you get gifts in my gift shop. Because, even if the present flops, you telling someone, sincerely, the reasons why you appreciate them, will never fall flat.
And with that, I thank you for requesting gifts and giving me the prompt to do this little personal work! Good luck with your gifting this season. If you gift art, let me know how it goes.
-Liz
